Archive | December, 2012

The faith of knowing …help when we most need it…

10 Dec

DCIM100MEDIAI cannot remember now where I first heard about the charity New Approaches to Cancer, but before I knew it I was contacting them…   (New Approaches to Cancer is an organisation that was started by a group of four colleagues, two doctors and two healers back in 1969.  These innovators felt it was important to share with as many people as possible the positive experience of using ‘Gentle Therapies’; these, combined with supportive  counselling, self help groups and dietary advice could make a real difference to people going through the experience of cancer. Today we are a national registered charity that provides a nationwide information service that is easily accessible and free to all.

All our services are free of charge, the Charity is set up to provide a wide range of information on experienced holistic practitioners & clinics nationwide and runs self help groups in Surrey, Sussex, and Middlesex.    We organise talks and healthy living demonstrations, run regular classes in holistic therapy to support the cancer patient such as Relaxation and Visualisation Therapies, Yoga, Nutrition, Flower Remedies, Life-Coaching etc,. – And, in the spirit of prevention, invite local medical practitioners and nurses to attend as well as patient’s families and friends.)

After an initial phone call to to their office where I left my story in brief on the answering machine, I was contacted by a very knowledgeable and forthright lady who patiently listened to an abbreviated rundown from the last 11 years of my complex story.  She promised to send me a packet of information with all things related to healing cancer, and as a closing question she asked, “Are you doing Vitamin C infusions?”   My answer was ‘no’  – they had been on my list of course but always either out of reach geographically, financially or as with the last few years out of the radius of my ‘importancy list’.  There was always something else to buy…..vitamins and supplements topped the wish list…..costing a small fortune I might add!

A great burst of joy entered my heart when the lady, whom I later came to know with great reverance as Dottie, finalized the conversation by saying in her ‘quite direct and to the point manner’, “well my dear, when the packet arrives see which doctor on our list appeals to you and we will see if we can’t help you to have your vitamin C infusions…..”
As fate would have it more positive news would come a few weeks later when Dorothy Crowther, another stalwart spirit from the Wirral Holistic Therapeutic Cancer Care Services, put me in touch with Together Against Cancer. Christmas had indeed arrived early it seems!…….

Amongst the myriad of really useful information they sent me I found the list of doctors and instictively chose The Vision of Hope Clinic in Brighton, I suppose because I had often seen their website advertised in the ICON magazine, and through Yes to Life.  After an initial telephone conversation with Dr. Andre Snell Young who runs the clinic, I reported back to Dottie and she kindly invited me to Brighton for a course of vitamin C infusions.

I am quite a shy person underneath what may seem to others as ‘an outgoing personality’, and setting out for Brighton was not something I embarked upon easily, knowing that at the other end of the journey, strangers awaited and more- I was to be indebted to them for their generous help, but once on the train from Liverpool to Brighton via London, I began immediately to feel a little more confident about the choices I was making.  It was still little more than a few weeks since my surgery, and I was feeling quite stretched in all the wrong places, and still dealing with an open wound where the scarline had not quite knitted together.  The train journey brought back memories of when I was first diagnosed, in 2001,  and Rosella Loginotti,, a wonderful healer I had met by chance had kindly invited me down to London to visit a psychic healer she knew.  Once again I had responded to the kindness of strangers, and we have remained close friends ever since.  But I do remember how very weak I had felt on that journey….newly diagnosed and still in the fear mode of possibly going to drop dead at any moment because I hadn’t followed the doctors orders and agreed to chemotherapy and radiation.  I had not yet discovered the blessed coffee enema, but was eating the Garden of Eden in terms of nutrients. Those first months of detoxification were the worse until my body started to appreciate a new burst of health, and fear subsided.

Back to 2012 :  From Brighton station I hopped on a local bus and arrived 15 minutes later at the Vision of Hope clinic, located in a big old house.  I was a little weary from the early morning start from Liverpool but received a warm welcome and after  discussing my case with Dr. Andre, I was hooked up to an IV drip for my long awaited vitamin C.  I was receiving a fairly low dose of 20gms and so it was all quite easy-going, with only the initial sting of the pinprick to tolerate.   There were plenty of books to browse through and several other patients on varying degrees of infusions, so as per usual a general eagerness from patients to swap information.  Quite different from the orthodox waiting rooms where I’ve usually found folk either quite tight-lipped about initiating conversation, or astounded at my choice of action.  I noticed that everyone had come supplied with mounds of fresh food and a concoction of healthy snacks as had I.

Two hours later  Dottie arrived at the clinic to pick me up.  What a bright spark she is in person……and insistent on making my stay as stress free as possible, she drove me to the apartment that the charity has for short stay guests.  After dropping off my bag and freshening up a bit it was a brisk walk with Dottie along the sea front of Brighton.  I can’t tell you how good the sea air felt, and after a delicious vegan meal it was back to the flat where Dottie’s healing hands and wise guidance left me ready for a good night’s sleep.  I’m not used to being served but Dottie is not someone you say ‘no’ to… I fell in line with the plan and accepted a lovely smoothie and porridge for breakfast and after another brisk walk along the seafront, I was dropped back at the clinic armed with several books and a care package to nibble on the journey back.  At the clinic I had the second infusion and before I knew it I was back on the train to London feeling very much better and with the order that I was to be repeating this every month…….I have always believed in miracles and having faith in one’s decisions I feel to be paramount to success.

So that is what I have been doing since July…..and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate this special gift to my wellbeing.  Each visit to the clinic and indeed into Dottie’s caring embrace has served to build my self confidence immensely.  It is inspiring to meet others undertaking to heal their bodies naturally, most of them I might add after being sadly disillusioned by the orthodox treatment they had received prior to this decision.

Giving back to society by inspiring others is something that has always been a part of me it seems.  Even before the cancer, through my practice of Jyorei, my acting work and my art;  I have found that there is a kind of spiritual magic available when one appreciates and gives gratitude for the blessings along the way.  I don’t know how best to describe it really……but I know it has a deep connection to FAITH, and this goes beyond any one religion…..I mean the kind of Faith that surpasseth all understanding…….Well with that I think we shall call it a day….I have been spending so much time writing lately that my paint brush is calling for attention since I always like to have a ready supply of inspiration touchstones on hand!

The power of positive vibrations, prayer, and friendship.

5 Dec

When last I wrote I was concerned about the mournful braying of little donkey in a far away field….and more importantly about a dear friend in America, a much further away field….. who had gone missing.  The donkey it seems has found peace….hopefully joined by it’s friends (apparently donkeys in the donkey sanctuary are said to always need a friend  alongside when they go into the clinic for any kind of treatment – ahhhhh!!!)

Thanks to a social networking site, I was able to discover that my friend from America had gone missing having told no-one of her plans.  More than a week had passed when suddenly some friends started to raise alarm bells.  I heard the bells and when I didn’t receive any response to my phone calls and emails, I too started to worry.  This particular friend is a very social person and our friendship goes back some 41 years……we happened to get locked inside Beirut during a middle eastern war in the 1970’s (but that’s another story)  She had been a big help to me then, and when she eventually moved to California where I was living we remained close.   During the course of the next three days, I became involved in a series of ‘where is she?’ emails posted online….Everybody was worried and eventually her family from Europe got involved and were putting out a missing persons alert.  Her cellfone was full to the limit and as time went by my positivity began to dwain.   We were all praying and trying to keep calm but my mind was taking me back to another mutual friend who’s car went off the road when he had a stroke behind the wheel and it took us a while to locate him in some far away hospital!  I was in drama mode  envisioning her in some turmoil, thinking she may have been kidnapped or worst, by mexican gangs in Tijuana (she had in fact been stabbed once in a car park in San Diego, so the idea wasn’t exactly far off the radar……and when I started thinking of all the adventures we’ve shared over the years, it was then that I truly started to appreciate what a good friend she has been… and oh my God – how sad I would be to lose her.  At times like this I find that prayer surfaces above fear, and one reaches a peace that passeth all understanding.

At the same time I was contacted by another very close friend who had recently been diagnosed with a rare basal cell carcinoma that was threatening her health.  For her it was a big issue of possible disfigurement and the fear that she would not be able to cope- yet another attack on her self -esteem.  And to top it all the news that my frail 88 year old mother had had a nasty fall and had taken to her bed.  Was this mum’s way of saying – that’s it- let me go to sleep forever now…..It was all so very uncertain and that night I went to sleep praying for my dear mother and friends, and indeed for all the new people that I had invited into my world to share their stories…..the list it seems was growing.

I had indeed got what I asked for – as I had started this blog looking to help others. 

And so we heal was not a phrase I came by lightly but it continues to serve me well….This too shall pass  is another constant, and before I could act upon the approaching vision in the next chapter of my missing friend’s ‘Mexican ‘drama, wherein I was flying down to Tijuana to join the search, I am happy to report that she has indeed been located- and yes it was south of the border as it turns out.  We don’t know more than that at the moment except her phone had no coverage…..

The friend with the ‘ basal cell thingy’,  is feeling more in control, and we are working to try to help the her find the right path, whilst realizing that she has a lot of deep seeded issues to deal with. (nothing new there then……It seems to me that most of our health crisises are helped by getting to the root of things.)  I’m suggesting ‘tapping’ might be of help.  And mama is still curled up in bed…..and who can blame her!

….Continuing on  with the theme of friendship I was delighted to be contacted by an old friend from my days in Hollywood – Eva Jeanne – we were all young ‘hopefuls’, studying drama at the famous Lee Strasberg Theatre Institute, on Hollywood Boulevard, back in the 70’s.  There was never a more exciting time, and Academy Award night each year at Eva and Joe’s was  the next best thing to being there at the ceremony….We were full of the kind of ambition one thinks will last a lifetime …..She wrote :

Dearest Pauline,
 I always promise to not lose touch and then life intervenes and before I know it, the passage of time is great.
 I stumbled on your blog today. Steve or Debbie or you must have told me you started one, but it’s lost in the mist. Some time during Steve’s drama and his exodus from Los Angeles, he told me you had the operation. He has forwarded a few emails.  I always mean to email you. I compose the emails in my head as I go about my day. I always want to convey love and support. But they never get written. Sometimes I think the saddest things start with the phrase, “I meant to…” I have no excuse.
 Just know that you are never far from my thoughts and always in my prayers. Your strength and bravery and ability to see the beauty around you, no matter what, have always been inspirational to me. No more than now. Your musings, struggles, victories, all touch me deeply. There is so much I don’t understand about this life of ours. Why it is given. Why it gets taken away. How some seem to just float through and others struggle each and every minute. 
 I always comfort myself with the thought that you must feel it when you’re being prayed for, that when I send my vibrations in your direction, that you must feel the warmth. I think I’m just trying to make myself feel better. So…I didn’t want to wait again to reconnect. I didn’t want to let the time pass. I didn’t want to go another day without telling you that I love you. 
I can’t tell you how much this email touched me…….
When I got to this sentence : I always comfort myself with the thought that you must feel it when you’re being prayed for, that when I send my vibrations in your direction, that you must feel the warmth;  indeed a great warmth did envelop me, and inspire me, and greatly!  How easily we can sometimes dismiss this truth, that our prayers and warm vibrations do reach out to others especially in their time of need.
Oh Eva, thank you dear friend for reaching through the mists of time, and reminding me yet again the power of positive vibrations, prayer, and friendship.
Since I am still just figuring the machinations of blogging out, I am still not sure how to do the’ replys’ so they appear alongside the comments so bear with me.  I’ve also noticed that I’ve inadvertently underlined all the sentences in past blogs….????!!!
Oh well- I am still on the case and tomorrow being San Nicolas, a fiesta in Spain, and one that includes gatherings of folk to dissect the fattened local ‘babe’, no, not the prettiest senorita but the much adored pig…….(an age old custom that ensured there was enough on the table for winter- so no opinionated comment from me)…..just that I shall not have to attend and can  finally write more about Dottie and the charities that are helping me.
It’s that time again when the neck says…..enough…..stop typing……Time perhaps to bake some oatbran muffins……yum!!!