4 Feb

Not only is it World cancer day today, but for those interested in astrology- Jupiter, planet of good fortune goes direct today……So – let us find good reason to keep this fight going and dare to uncover some dark truths that have been clouding our individual and collective journey’s with this darn disease!

World Cancer Day is a chance to raise our collective voices in the name of improving general knowledge around cancer and dismissing misconceptions about the disease. From a global level, we will be focusing our messaging on four myths. Learn the truth and supporting evidence, by clicking on the myths below.

Cancer Myths :

Myth 1: Cancer is just a health issue

I seem to be uncovering all sorts of exciting news connected to surviving cancer lately –  I hardly know where to begin!

Since I really want this to be about personal stories I have decided to use what comes into my radius on any given day and then hopefully expand on it.  Having said that; the truth is that I am quite a ways behind with all that is stored in my inbox, but hopefully intuition will kick in and the light will lead kindly…

It was the October of 2011 when I was first contacted by John Stuart whose wife Margaret was struggling with breast cancer issues.  They had read a piece I had written for the ICON magazine at; and were interested to learn that Margaret and I had had a similar ECT treatment, albeit mine in Spain and Margaret’s in a clinic in Germany.

John has kindly agreed to let me use the many e-mail conversations that went on between Margaret and myself over the ensuing months.  Apart from the emails back and forth, we had several good phone conversations, and I always felt empowered after our communication.  Our common bond being that we had been dealt this terrible blow of a cancer diagnosis but were determined to leave no stone unturned when it came to researching what was ‘the latest’ information available to share with others.

One of the last emails I sent to Margaret was to ask for an image of herself so that I had something to focus on to send her healing light…I never did get to see her face as Margaret sadly and unjustly lost her fight some 10 months after we connected.  Fortunately her  husband John, despite still being in mourning is continuing to bring to light some of the wonderful information available for those looking to heal ‘outside the  box’ , as it were, such as What Doctors Don’t Tell You: Alternative health treatments  …

Here then is how our friendship began :

Dear Pauline,

                   I am writing to you on behalf of my wife, Margaret, who has just undergone a similar electro-galvanic treatment to you (as outlined in ‘Icon’ magazine) in Germany.
     The resultant wounds are a bit worrying and after-care a bit thin in the UK – as you can imagine!  We are fortunate to be able to go for specialist cancer treatment with an exceptionally good private alternative cancer doctor in Sussex who has a pile of ‘Icon’ magazines on his reception desk… which is how we found your very useful article! Margaret is being pressed to return to Germany (by the German Clinic) for more treatment – this time even more invasive – and is concerned as to the healing process and would be incredibly grateful to be able to e-mail you for advice and to compare her experiences with you… or, would it be possible to ring you and talk directly? An e-mail response would be much appreciated in the first instance! It is not the sort of treatment that is within the experience of many doctors in the UK.
     You will appreciate how incredibly stressful such an experience can be – even for the most balanced and level-headed person, as Margaret is – especially as one is working against the grain of the whole NHS procedure in the UK and one’s GP not being entirely enthusiastic as to what is still seen as in the UK “alternative” treatment  (though I’ve no doubt we will catch up here eventually) … all of which I have no doubt you will understand… so I’m hoping that you will be able to find time to help, to some extent, simply by being able to empathise with the experience and offer any practical advice on wound treatment?
 Yours sincerely,
 John Stuart.
Dear John and margaret,
The chances of me being online at this moment are rare as I am in northern spain in a tiny little village with my partner…..
We had our computer stolen last week and can only get online now and again at the local int place…..
I will be glad to be of any help once i return and will fone you from the Uk – I get back in 2 weeks….
For the moment not knowing much about margaret’s case I can only say that – yes …. the wounds are quite severe but manageable in time……I mixed green clay and put that on for a while….
It really is a long journey and once you are on it… needs to keep the faith and KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT …..that you are indeed a survivor and all is well!!!!
hopefully margaret is following a really restrictive diet at least until the wound starts to close and hopefully forever after.  I found my wound closed of its own accord about 6 months after but my treatment was spread over 9mths because of finances…..
I have to tell u also that I had a slight recurrence last yr – and am now in search of hyperthermia – has margaret had that?  it’s difficult to find in the UK on the NHS – actually impossible – but is there privately…….
Also I wanted to do sonofotodynamic therapy but again privately at the dove clinic 10,000pounds…..
Since this computer is so low….i find the blood draining trying to type…..forgive me but lets continue another time…..
In the meantime – do write and let me know more about margaret’s case!
I am always pleased to hear of others on the alternative path….there are many of us!!!!!
meanwhile- read all you can – LOVE – is the greatest healer –
coffee enemas help me a LOT!!!!
ok……thats it from me …..Speak soon,
Be Well,


 Dear Pauline
 Thank you so much for replying when clearly the computer you have access to is causing some difficulties.  It would be great to talk to you and I look forward to speaking once you are in the UK. I am so sorry that you now have a recurrence – one just has to keep thinking of new ways to hit it and importantly  stay in control.
I had my galvano treatment in Germany under a doctor called Dr Thomas Giesen.  He is on the web. He treated a recurrence in my mastectomy scar of two small tumours (1.6cm and 0.6mm).  He uses photodynamic treatment using ‘photolon’ as the method of seeing the malignancy.  Two days after after treating the tumours (I did feel much better that evening) he used galvano treatment on the area and what was left of the tumours (although not palpable) erupted through the skin and have left two nasty holes!  The doctor I see in Sussex (also German) is Dr Siegfried Trefzer (known as ‘Ziggy)to all and sundry) at High Tree Medical near Crowborough.  He was my initial contact with Dr Giesen as he had one patient who received an obviously milder form of Galvano treatment prior to having a lumpectomy.  I also have an enlarged lymph node near the axilla and Dr Giesen wants to do three more photodynamic treatments on this.  On receiving pictures of my wound he still thinks he can go ahead.  Ziggy and I are not so sure and I hope he will be speaking to Dr Giesen tomorrow.  Oh yes, I forgot to tell you that Dr Giesen and his staff have practically no English – you just have to trust them! However we have no means of knowing how successful he is. He is quite delighted by the results.
Thank you for your advice about a restrictive diet, I am already quite good but have now cut out fruit and anything that may have some residual sugar. If you know of anything else I should avoid (apart from dairy) I would be grateful.  I do so agree, coffee enemas are the only thing that enables me to keep a sense of proportion. 
My original plan was to have the treatment and then go on the Gerson for as long as I could.  I know from Beata Bishop’s book ‘A  time to heal’ that the therapy is marvellous for wound healing but at the moment I am quite shattered and I know in need of both physical and spiritual support.  The financial aspect is alarming, we are both retired and need this attempt at treatment to be successful.
Anyway I will stop rambling on and once again many thanks for contacting us.
Take care
( I just want to interject here and say that the charity TOGETHER AGAINST CANCER, that I mentioned in a previous post, are putting together a conference in October this year in London, highlighting THE GERSON THERAPY, with Beata Bishop, amongst others, speaking.  More on this later – but while we are on the subject let me recommend a wonderful documentary. (watch free on youtube)

Hello Margaret

Got back to barcelona monday night…..We had car troubles which inadvertently found us on the Camino de Santiago – The St. james Way – just overnight – but interesting nevertheless – more for the chance to reflect on why we were there in the first place?
Anyways – Just wanted to touch base with you and say that hopefully I can call you at the weekend.(since I won’t be back in Uk for a while) Is there any time that is best?
Thanks so much for filling me in with whats happening with you…..and who you have been seeing.  it’s always good to share information as you know….
I have been trying to think of something else that may help your wounds, but nothing new is coming altho I have just read in a spanish magazine about a machine called Quantam Milta – not sure if its available in Uk – seems like its used for healing tissue with burns etc.
i think the main thing is keeping your immune system strong – i do a lot of co Q 10…..
oh dear – i’m afraid you probably know of all the good supplements…..really I think we need to have a good natter and then see what comes up in the conversation….I’m not that good with computers lately…..
And so……..keep your spirits up……Keep up the good work and NEVER GIVE UP –
yes – you will have off days but just keep following the signs along the way…..
When did you have your masectomy?
ok…..thats me signing off
hope it helps a little,


Hello Pauline
Really good to hear from you and thanks for wanting to have a chat on the phone.  I do agree it is far more worthwhile than tapping into computers.  My trouble is that I don’t even bother to get my own email account as when I had one I kept forgetting to check it and John at least does look at his from time to time!
My wounds aren’t getting any worse and may be improving slightly! I’m doing acupuncture with a great Chinese doctor and taking loads of supplements for the immune system, but more importantly, I think, I am now over the virus we brought back from Germany with us and really laid me out initially.
Look forward to talking to you and many thanks again
 Take care
 PS  I had my mastectomy in 2005.

I shall continue with Margaret’s emails tomorrow ……..let us make today count!

Looking forward!

31 Jan

Cancer will no longer be ‘a death sentence’: DNA-based treatment to  transform lives within 10 years, say scientists

  • Scientists  ‘close to radical technique to develop personalised  treatments’
  • Want to  sequence DNA of tumours in patients to deliver tailored  treatment
  • Could help  patients to carry on for a decade in relatively good health
  • Hopes that  cancer could become a chronic disease rather than a killer
  • It would  pave way for radical forms of diagnosis, surveillance and  therapy

Cancer will become a manageable condition  rather than a death sentence within a decade, experts boldly predicted  yesterday.

Scientists believe they are close to rolling  out a radical technique that allows them to develop extremely personalised  cancer treatments, that will substantially increase life expectancy.

They think within five to ten years they will  be able to sequence the DNA of tumours in every cancer patient – allowing  doctors to deliver a highly tailored treatment.

Mammogram: Scientists believe they are close to rolling  out a radical technique that allows them to develop extremely personalised  cancer treatments, that will substantially increase life expectancy
The work, due to start at the £3million  Tumour Profiling Unit in London this year, is expected to pave the way for  radical forms of diagnosis, surveillance and therapy.

Doctors think closely examining the genetic  make-up of every individual tumour will revolutionise the effectiveness of the  treatments at their disposal.

They say the technique could substantially  increase life expectancy, allowing terminally-ill patients to live for a decade  or more in good health.

For example, one patient at the Royal Marsden  in Chelsea has been taking the breast cancer drug Herceptin for a decade,  although this is considered an exceptional case.

Professor Alan Ashworth, chief executive of  the Institute of Cancer Research, which is running the project, said: ‘None of  this is science fiction.

‘One would think in five or ten years this  will be absolutely routine practice for every cancer patient, and that’s what  we’re aiming to bring about.

‘We should be aspiring to cure cancer, but  for people with advanced disease, it will be a question of managing them better  so they survive for much longer – for many years.

‘Cancer often appears in people who are old,  and if we can keep them alive long enough for them to die of something else,  then we are turning cancer into a chronic disease.’

Genetic profiling of cancer is already being  investigated at several laboratories around the world, but the new unit will  pioneer its use, he said.

For example, patients with advanced breast cancer are tested to determine if  their tumours have a particular type of the HER2 gene, responsible for 20 per  cent of cases.

Skin cancer patients with a particular type  of melanoma may also be prescribed the life-prolonging drug Vemurafenib.

Scientists: Currently, all cancer drugs go through a  process that ends with a big trial involving several thousand patients. Such  trials are designed to look for small success rates across large population  (file picture)

Professor Ashworth’s  team will use the techniques to track cancers as they progress, mutate and  develop resistance to drugs.

At the moment, tumour DNA has to be profile  using an invasive biopsy. But the scientists now hope to develop a blood test to  identify DNA floating around the body from tumours instead.

They hope the programme will shed light on  currently intractable problems such as so-called ‘unknown primaries’ – cancers  of unknown origin that account for one in 20 cancers.

It may also start to reshape the way trials  of cancer treatments are conducted. Currently, all cancer drugs go through a  process that ends with a big trial involving several thousand  patients.

‘None of this is science  fiction. One would think in five or ten years this will be absolutely routine  practice for every cancer patient, and that’s what we’re aiming to bring  about’

Professor Alan  Ashworth, chief executive of the Institute of Cancer Research

Such trials are designed to look for small  success rates across large population. But they often lead to drugs being  marketed that only benefit a minority of the patients who take them.

For example, only one in ten women given  chemotherapy for breast cancer actually responds to the treatment.

In future, big trials could be replaced by  smaller studies providing much more meaningful results.

Each would recruit a few hundred patients  whose genetic make-up is likely to suit the treatment being tested.

Professor Ashworth said: ‘Basically, the way  we’re developing drugs for cancer is now failing big time. Certainly, the idea  of developing old-fashioned chemotherapy is going out the window.

‘Let’s design the trials for success rather  than failure.’

The research has been made possible by the  rapid reduction in the cost of genetic sequencing.

It took a decade of work and around £2billion  to produce the first draft of the human genome, or genetic code, in 2000.

(I had to make sure this week’s news (above) in the Daily Mail made it on to my blog…..I’ll be back tomorrow with more!)

Remembering Ann

25 Jan

ann at Taj MahalWell here we go again – a New Year!  As much as part of me would like to pull the covers over my head and sleep the world and all it’s woes away; there is the bigger part of me that simply needs to keep moving – mind , body and spirit, and to truly give thanks for this gift of life.

When I last left off with the blog, all was well, for the most part.  Christmas was looming, and in my Dec 5th blog, I gave thanks that the friend in the USA who had gone missing, causing us all much anguish, had, we heard been located in Mexico.  Turning my attention to other matters I rested assured that I would here from said friend, Ann Johansen in the following few days, but as time went on I began to feel the same unease as that felt when I first heard she was missing.  Ann is a very social person and always in touch with friends and family, so I was not alone in my worries for her.  Since my blog is immediately posted on Facebook, I kept going back and forth to Ann’s FB page hoping to see her smiling face telling us all about her latest adventures in Mexico.  It was late into the night then, a few  days later when I came across some newly posted messages on her site.  They were in Norwegian, her native tongue so I could not understand what they were saying, but there was no mistaking the common theme therein with the letters – R.I.P !  The alarm bells were slow to go off at first as I thought-‘ gosh one of Ann’s Norwegian buddys must have died!’……so it wasn’t until I scrolled down to the English messages that the terrible truth was revealed.  The  ‘rest-in-peace’ wishes were indeed for Ann!  She never did get to Mexico….far from it.  Without going into too many details, my dear friend Ann, shortly after her 63rd birthday had been found dead in her bedroom, having suffered a stroke or heart attack.  The sad facts surrounding the case are still much of a mystery, and I have spent the last weeks thinking of her almost every day.  We had known each other for over 40 years and since I have not been back to the USA in 3 years, we had not seen each other since her 60th birthday, but she phoned me often over the years, and there was always the promise of the next birthday celebration.  Ann was a big fan of my artwork, always purchasing my chalices and touchstones to give as presents.  I remember she ordered a dozen saying ‘forever young’, and passed them out to friends…..demanding that we took the message to heart.  Funny thing is…….I paint angels and always put the message ‘Angels watching over’, but a few months ago I changed the message to say ‘An angel watches over.’  Writing it the other day I couldn’t help but see it in a different light- ‘Ann angel watches over’…….

Our friendship began in Spain and continued on in California…..Ann was one of a kind and I must tell you that I still can hear that deep chuckle of laughter she had and feel her warmth for the people around her…..

Ann  was truly a ‘people person’, and was always ready to share views on many different subjects…….travel, politics, geography, spirituality….nutrients….the list goes on…and if conversation ran out there was always her famous foot and back massages.  So many times Ann arranged to meet at her favourite Glen Ivy hot springs for a rejuvenating day lolling about in mud and therapeutic waters…..Ann was at home in the healing waters and wanted us all to feel good…..isn’t that right? I can still remember the veritable abundance of goods and sundry in the back of her car.  One could never leave empty -handed after a meeting with Ann.  Silk scarves, creams and lotions,vitamins, food…..magazine’s…….information…..fotos….tales of her many journeys throughout the globe…..Always dressed in her bright colours, always smiling – Ann seemed to offer us the chance to escape for a little while and share special moments that are all too rare in our busy worlds….

And so after all the shock and tears of the last few weeks,  now as I seek to find ways to keep Ann’s ‘eternally youthful spirit ‘ alive inside my memories …..I come to accept that I have a certain duty to the memory of my friend to ‘keep that thread of light going’, if you will….                

Stay in the Spirit………as she was so fond of saying……

Especially now as human life is at it’s most fragile wherever it be around the globe…

Be of the earth yes……and ……

                                    stay in the spirit

 And you shall be forever young dear friend…


The faith of knowing …help when we most need it…

10 Dec

DCIM100MEDIAI cannot remember now where I first heard about the charity New Approaches to Cancer, but before I knew it I was contacting them…   (New Approaches to Cancer is an organisation that was started by a group of four colleagues, two doctors and two healers back in 1969.  These innovators felt it was important to share with as many people as possible the positive experience of using ‘Gentle Therapies’; these, combined with supportive  counselling, self help groups and dietary advice could make a real difference to people going through the experience of cancer. Today we are a national registered charity that provides a nationwide information service that is easily accessible and free to all.

All our services are free of charge, the Charity is set up to provide a wide range of information on experienced holistic practitioners & clinics nationwide and runs self help groups in Surrey, Sussex, and Middlesex.    We organise talks and healthy living demonstrations, run regular classes in holistic therapy to support the cancer patient such as Relaxation and Visualisation Therapies, Yoga, Nutrition, Flower Remedies, Life-Coaching etc,. – And, in the spirit of prevention, invite local medical practitioners and nurses to attend as well as patient’s families and friends.)

After an initial phone call to to their office where I left my story in brief on the answering machine, I was contacted by a very knowledgeable and forthright lady who patiently listened to an abbreviated rundown from the last 11 years of my complex story.  She promised to send me a packet of information with all things related to healing cancer, and as a closing question she asked, “Are you doing Vitamin C infusions?”   My answer was ‘no’  – they had been on my list of course but always either out of reach geographically, financially or as with the last few years out of the radius of my ‘importancy list’.  There was always something else to buy…..vitamins and supplements topped the wish list…..costing a small fortune I might add!

A great burst of joy entered my heart when the lady, whom I later came to know with great reverance as Dottie, finalized the conversation by saying in her ‘quite direct and to the point manner’, “well my dear, when the packet arrives see which doctor on our list appeals to you and we will see if we can’t help you to have your vitamin C infusions…..”
As fate would have it more positive news would come a few weeks later when Dorothy Crowther, another stalwart spirit from the Wirral Holistic Therapeutic Cancer Care Services, put me in touch with Together Against Cancer. Christmas had indeed arrived early it seems!…….

Amongst the myriad of really useful information they sent me I found the list of doctors and instictively chose The Vision of Hope Clinic in Brighton, I suppose because I had often seen their website advertised in the ICON magazine, and through Yes to Life.  After an initial telephone conversation with Dr. Andre Snell Young who runs the clinic, I reported back to Dottie and she kindly invited me to Brighton for a course of vitamin C infusions.

I am quite a shy person underneath what may seem to others as ‘an outgoing personality’, and setting out for Brighton was not something I embarked upon easily, knowing that at the other end of the journey, strangers awaited and more- I was to be indebted to them for their generous help, but once on the train from Liverpool to Brighton via London, I began immediately to feel a little more confident about the choices I was making.  It was still little more than a few weeks since my surgery, and I was feeling quite stretched in all the wrong places, and still dealing with an open wound where the scarline had not quite knitted together.  The train journey brought back memories of when I was first diagnosed, in 2001,  and Rosella Loginotti,, a wonderful healer I had met by chance had kindly invited me down to London to visit a psychic healer she knew.  Once again I had responded to the kindness of strangers, and we have remained close friends ever since.  But I do remember how very weak I had felt on that journey….newly diagnosed and still in the fear mode of possibly going to drop dead at any moment because I hadn’t followed the doctors orders and agreed to chemotherapy and radiation.  I had not yet discovered the blessed coffee enema, but was eating the Garden of Eden in terms of nutrients. Those first months of detoxification were the worse until my body started to appreciate a new burst of health, and fear subsided.

Back to 2012 :  From Brighton station I hopped on a local bus and arrived 15 minutes later at the Vision of Hope clinic, located in a big old house.  I was a little weary from the early morning start from Liverpool but received a warm welcome and after  discussing my case with Dr. Andre, I was hooked up to an IV drip for my long awaited vitamin C.  I was receiving a fairly low dose of 20gms and so it was all quite easy-going, with only the initial sting of the pinprick to tolerate.   There were plenty of books to browse through and several other patients on varying degrees of infusions, so as per usual a general eagerness from patients to swap information.  Quite different from the orthodox waiting rooms where I’ve usually found folk either quite tight-lipped about initiating conversation, or astounded at my choice of action.  I noticed that everyone had come supplied with mounds of fresh food and a concoction of healthy snacks as had I.

Two hours later  Dottie arrived at the clinic to pick me up.  What a bright spark she is in person……and insistent on making my stay as stress free as possible, she drove me to the apartment that the charity has for short stay guests.  After dropping off my bag and freshening up a bit it was a brisk walk with Dottie along the sea front of Brighton.  I can’t tell you how good the sea air felt, and after a delicious vegan meal it was back to the flat where Dottie’s healing hands and wise guidance left me ready for a good night’s sleep.  I’m not used to being served but Dottie is not someone you say ‘no’ to… I fell in line with the plan and accepted a lovely smoothie and porridge for breakfast and after another brisk walk along the seafront, I was dropped back at the clinic armed with several books and a care package to nibble on the journey back.  At the clinic I had the second infusion and before I knew it I was back on the train to London feeling very much better and with the order that I was to be repeating this every month…….I have always believed in miracles and having faith in one’s decisions I feel to be paramount to success.

So that is what I have been doing since July…..and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate this special gift to my wellbeing.  Each visit to the clinic and indeed into Dottie’s caring embrace has served to build my self confidence immensely.  It is inspiring to meet others undertaking to heal their bodies naturally, most of them I might add after being sadly disillusioned by the orthodox treatment they had received prior to this decision.

Giving back to society by inspiring others is something that has always been a part of me it seems.  Even before the cancer, through my practice of Jyorei, my acting work and my art;  I have found that there is a kind of spiritual magic available when one appreciates and gives gratitude for the blessings along the way.  I don’t know how best to describe it really……but I know it has a deep connection to FAITH, and this goes beyond any one religion…..I mean the kind of Faith that surpasseth all understanding…….Well with that I think we shall call it a day….I have been spending so much time writing lately that my paint brush is calling for attention since I always like to have a ready supply of inspiration touchstones on hand!

The power of positive vibrations, prayer, and friendship.

5 Dec

When last I wrote I was concerned about the mournful braying of little donkey in a far away field….and more importantly about a dear friend in America, a much further away field….. who had gone missing.  The donkey it seems has found peace….hopefully joined by it’s friends (apparently donkeys in the donkey sanctuary are said to always need a friend  alongside when they go into the clinic for any kind of treatment – ahhhhh!!!)

Thanks to a social networking site, I was able to discover that my friend from America had gone missing having told no-one of her plans.  More than a week had passed when suddenly some friends started to raise alarm bells.  I heard the bells and when I didn’t receive any response to my phone calls and emails, I too started to worry.  This particular friend is a very social person and our friendship goes back some 41 years……we happened to get locked inside Beirut during a middle eastern war in the 1970’s (but that’s another story)  She had been a big help to me then, and when she eventually moved to California where I was living we remained close.   During the course of the next three days, I became involved in a series of ‘where is she?’ emails posted online….Everybody was worried and eventually her family from Europe got involved and were putting out a missing persons alert.  Her cellfone was full to the limit and as time went by my positivity began to dwain.   We were all praying and trying to keep calm but my mind was taking me back to another mutual friend who’s car went off the road when he had a stroke behind the wheel and it took us a while to locate him in some far away hospital!  I was in drama mode  envisioning her in some turmoil, thinking she may have been kidnapped or worst, by mexican gangs in Tijuana (she had in fact been stabbed once in a car park in San Diego, so the idea wasn’t exactly far off the radar……and when I started thinking of all the adventures we’ve shared over the years, it was then that I truly started to appreciate what a good friend she has been… and oh my God – how sad I would be to lose her.  At times like this I find that prayer surfaces above fear, and one reaches a peace that passeth all understanding.

At the same time I was contacted by another very close friend who had recently been diagnosed with a rare basal cell carcinoma that was threatening her health.  For her it was a big issue of possible disfigurement and the fear that she would not be able to cope- yet another attack on her self -esteem.  And to top it all the news that my frail 88 year old mother had had a nasty fall and had taken to her bed.  Was this mum’s way of saying – that’s it- let me go to sleep forever now…..It was all so very uncertain and that night I went to sleep praying for my dear mother and friends, and indeed for all the new people that I had invited into my world to share their stories…..the list it seems was growing.

I had indeed got what I asked for – as I had started this blog looking to help others. 

And so we heal was not a phrase I came by lightly but it continues to serve me well….This too shall pass  is another constant, and before I could act upon the approaching vision in the next chapter of my missing friend’s ‘Mexican ‘drama, wherein I was flying down to Tijuana to join the search, I am happy to report that she has indeed been located- and yes it was south of the border as it turns out.  We don’t know more than that at the moment except her phone had no coverage…..

The friend with the ‘ basal cell thingy’,  is feeling more in control, and we are working to try to help the her find the right path, whilst realizing that she has a lot of deep seeded issues to deal with. (nothing new there then……It seems to me that most of our health crisises are helped by getting to the root of things.)  I’m suggesting ‘tapping’ might be of help.  And mama is still curled up in bed…..and who can blame her!

….Continuing on  with the theme of friendship I was delighted to be contacted by an old friend from my days in Hollywood – Eva Jeanne – we were all young ‘hopefuls’, studying drama at the famous Lee Strasberg Theatre Institute, on Hollywood Boulevard, back in the 70’s.  There was never a more exciting time, and Academy Award night each year at Eva and Joe’s was  the next best thing to being there at the ceremony….We were full of the kind of ambition one thinks will last a lifetime …..She wrote :

Dearest Pauline,
 I always promise to not lose touch and then life intervenes and before I know it, the passage of time is great.
 I stumbled on your blog today. Steve or Debbie or you must have told me you started one, but it’s lost in the mist. Some time during Steve’s drama and his exodus from Los Angeles, he told me you had the operation. He has forwarded a few emails.  I always mean to email you. I compose the emails in my head as I go about my day. I always want to convey love and support. But they never get written. Sometimes I think the saddest things start with the phrase, “I meant to…” I have no excuse.
 Just know that you are never far from my thoughts and always in my prayers. Your strength and bravery and ability to see the beauty around you, no matter what, have always been inspirational to me. No more than now. Your musings, struggles, victories, all touch me deeply. There is so much I don’t understand about this life of ours. Why it is given. Why it gets taken away. How some seem to just float through and others struggle each and every minute. 
 I always comfort myself with the thought that you must feel it when you’re being prayed for, that when I send my vibrations in your direction, that you must feel the warmth. I think I’m just trying to make myself feel better. So…I didn’t want to wait again to reconnect. I didn’t want to let the time pass. I didn’t want to go another day without telling you that I love you. 
I can’t tell you how much this email touched me…….
When I got to this sentence : I always comfort myself with the thought that you must feel it when you’re being prayed for, that when I send my vibrations in your direction, that you must feel the warmth;  indeed a great warmth did envelop me, and inspire me, and greatly!  How easily we can sometimes dismiss this truth, that our prayers and warm vibrations do reach out to others especially in their time of need.
Oh Eva, thank you dear friend for reaching through the mists of time, and reminding me yet again the power of positive vibrations, prayer, and friendship.
Since I am still just figuring the machinations of blogging out, I am still not sure how to do the’ replys’ so they appear alongside the comments so bear with me.  I’ve also noticed that I’ve inadvertently underlined all the sentences in past blogs….????!!!
Oh well- I am still on the case and tomorrow being San Nicolas, a fiesta in Spain, and one that includes gatherings of folk to dissect the fattened local ‘babe’, no, not the prettiest senorita but the much adored pig…….(an age old custom that ensured there was enough on the table for winter- so no opinionated comment from me)…..just that I shall not have to attend and can  finally write more about Dottie and the charities that are helping me.
It’s that time again when the neck says…..enough…..stop typing……Time perhaps to bake some oatbran muffins……yum!!!

It’s all in the believing…

30 Nov

Yesterday I found myself researching other blogs wherein women are inviting discussion on the topic of cancer…..I thought that this would be a fast track to meeting up with like-minded kindred spirits wanting to share and learn about ‘what it takes to stay alive basically’…..yep…..that’s what is rocking my boat at the moment….that’s what gets me excited! What I found is a plethora of blogs……some funny some clever, and some…..well how can I say this???? – abandoned! – there I’ve said it!………..I was about 5 blogs in really and had left a comment on 2 which I thought were up my alley, journeyingbeyondbreastcancer, being one of them……when I stumbled upon one with the title….shiningstarmiracle – Yep – admittedly it was the name that drew me in and once in was happy to find that the hostess- Melinda who was diagnosed in 2002 was very passionate about her regime for healing, mostly raw food from what I could initially see. Well this appealed to me as I have an affinity for raw food although I am not a vegan……just makes sense to me all those healthy, sprouty enzymes etc……anyways…..I shall cut this short as I suddenly realized that I was looking at a blog whose last post was in 2010…..oh oh….alarm bells went off and as I delved deeper into further links it became apparent that Melinda was nowhere to be found……I closed the page and found myself not wanting to delve further and actually not wanting to blog further on my own little domain. You see I noticed that the few blogs Melinda had posted had received hardly any comments- and here she was so excited to be sharing her knowledge…..This thought kind of pervaded my day really…..together with the thoughts about a dear friend living in America who seems to have gone missing….Really – it was not a very positive day and the darkness followed me to bed , with no prophetic dreams to post, and not much deep REM sleep either…..
But today I awoke determined to have a brighter view of things even though the temperatures are steadily dropping. On a brighter note already the lone braying from a donkey in a far off field seems to have subsided. The ee awwing has been so mournful over the last few days but it’s been too wet to venture up and see what’s obviously causing it anguish. DCIM101MEDIAPerhaps one of its friends has gone missing too! Anyway’s…..when i finally got out of bed- ashamed to say it was past 10 a.m, but the mood had shifted, I decided to try to find Melinda the shiningstarmiracle…..perhaps she had just changed blogsites….but no- sorry to say I uncovered a remembrance page for her. It has been almost one year since her passing and googling her name I found the full extent to just what an amazing force she had been during the 9 years of her breast cancer diagnosis. I almost decided not to mention this lady, this stranger really as i did not want to upset anybody who is having a particular rough time of it at the moment. And I really wanted to find out what exactly happened during these 9 years……she did things her way and who’s to say that this decision didn’t actually result in a longer happier life than perhaps the one she may have had with an orthodox route….No- one can say – and that’s the whole point – in mentioning her story it is simply to stress the point that – Melinda, as far as I know – kept her determination to heal herself holistically, and unfortunately had a recurrence…..This emphasizes that there really is no one way to treat ourselves and for all my friends out there who are undergoing their own challenging treatments and regimes – have faith in your choices – and carry on BELIEVING! That is the main thing. To choose something and have faith in the process – THERE IS NO ONE WAY. I continue to have my beliefs and will continue to post articles that I find interesting and that I choose to believe in but I want this to be about INTERFAITH HEALING…….I hold no answers…..just my story!
Well……..that’s me done for the day… neck’s stiff and the cold is getting to my feet….I need to go find the fire in the living room where Javier is having his siesta – bless….not for long…..Time to wake him up and for us to go chop some more wood……
Meanwhile I haven’t forgot about the last blog’s continuation on my revelations with Dottie etc……it really shall be continued – just not today!………………chop wood, keep warm!


Thinking back to the operation in July

28 Nov

Pauline and Javier before the operation in Liverpool

Following on from yesterday’s musings I began today gathering thoughts as I went about my daily regime.  I was awake early enough – 7 a.m., but since the big freeze is certainly upon us I stayed under the divinity of the ‘feathers’ until just before 9, thinking about all sorts of things and of course the foremost question of what to share about this journey of mine.

Starting my day with the usual carrot apple and ginger juice followed by a once every few days coffee enema, gave me time to meditate and allow thoughts and ideas to empower my mind… long lost friends came to visit and I will touch upon those souls who i have had the pleasure to know and the sadness to behold their lives prematurely taken away by this disease……but that’s for another day…..

Thinking back to July and the recuperation after my operation…  
I had the surgery July 9th and Javier came over to Liverpool for a week to help care for me (no easy task might I add, as I like to be the one doing the fussing and the telling of others what to do!)  However I did my best to follow orders and made the whole thing enjoyable (???##!!!) by videotaping as we went along (hopefully some of which will be uploaded at some point.) When Javier left,  I set about researching what course of action i was going to pursue as follow up support.  I had already made it clear to the ever- supportive Alison Waghorn, my oncologist, that I was not in favor of chemo, radiation or Letrozole, and since they were pretty much the only things on offer for me at the NHS, save the regular injections of iscador mistletoe through the homeopathic wing:  I would have to think fast since refusing those I would be considered at a high risk in their books and I was already being administered my fair share of fear- theres not mine.

It was my choice to have the surgery, and I was very grateful for that- walking the middle ground – was how I liked to think of it.  I had always said that I would do whatever felt organically right for me, and yes- waiting until 11 years after diagnosis, may sound like a wrong decision in some books….but not in mine – I have never regretted that first decision and indeed my overall health was to improve drastically by focusing on holistic natural healing to boost my immune system – ironically because of cancer! How novel is that? – let’s face it there are lots of people living with cancer these days.   Since I was already on the same basic healthy regime as always, save the occasional fish, 80% raw organic food, whatever top of the wishlist supplements I could afford, and adapting the Gerson therapy basics to fit my personal circumstances,(stone broke to be perfectly honest!) Since I had long since exhausted all available savings and expendable income, and with no assets to speak of it was time to reach out for support of a different kind, that of a charitable nature. Not long after my initial diagnosis I had happened upon the WIRRAL HOLISTIC CANCER CARE SERVICES founded by Dorothy Crowther. Under their healing hands I was treated to a number of complementary treatments such as Accupuncture and reflexology, and also given guidance with the Gerson therapy. They had always been a source of great support and were on my doorstep. I had spent a lot of time over the years doing charitable work and was always available to talk to others about their particular diagnosis etc; especially since I had written two books revolving around cancer. But here I was coming around the mountain again so to speak so I was in no position to help others until I had done some resting and re-grouping of my own. Amongst the therapies that had been on my wishlist were photodynamic therapy which at £10,000 a pop was out of the question and hyperthermia which had been successful but left me needing yet more and more swallowing up cash that soon disappeared – hence the surgery decision.
And so the search was on….one website leading to another…..until a magic moment when a door opened up and I was invited in!
I cannot remember now where I first heard about the charity New Approaches to Cancer but before I knew it, after an initial phone call to to their office where i left my story in brief on the answering machine, I was contacted by a very knowledgeable and forthright lady who after listening patiently to a rundown of the last 11 years of my complex story promised to send me a packet of information with all things related to healing cancer. As a closing question she asked ” Are you doing Vitamin C infusions?” of course my answer was no – they had always been either out of reach geographically, financially or as with the last few years out of the radius of my ‘importancy list’. A great burst of joy entered my heart when the lady, whom I later came to know with great reverance as Dottie, finalized the conversation by saying in her ‘quite direct and to the point manner’, ” well my dear, when the packet arrives see which doctor on our list appeals to you and we will see if we can’t help you to have your vitamin C infusions…..
As fate would have it more positive news would come a few weeks later when Dorothy Crowther put me in touch with TOGETHER AGAINST CANCER. Christmas had indeed arrived early it seems!…….(to be continued)

Aside 27 Nov
My day pretty much got hijacked yesterday as I followed my instincts and started to catch up with a backlog of communication.  
As is usually the case one thing led to another and then into my inbox popped Chris Woollams latest missive from…I have pasted a little of his comments here It can surely only be a matter of time before conservative Britain and its oncology departments wake up to realise the rest of the Western world think complementary therapies in areas such as stress management, diet, exercise and so on really can help people survive longer and even prevent a cancer returning. The report by the American Cancer Society I have frequently told you about has now been endorsed by America’s top cancer body – the National Cancer Institute,no less.

But in the UK the awakening is starting. Now Imperial College has a new College of Medicine headed by Professor Djamgoz, who when addressing MPs at the House of Commons, talked of patients needing ‘more than just the surgery and the chemotherapy. They need therapies that help reduce their stress, control their pain, adjust their nutrition, enable them to relax – plus psychological, emotional and spiritual support too’. Whatever next? He even talked of better ways of treating cancer.

Meanwhile I have pasted here below my first blog on the now defunct :
November 17th
I woke up this morning determined to begin blogging in earnest!
No no!!!! I really do mean it this time. The thing is……I have so much going on in this mind of mine that it will take some doing to get the gist of it all but hopefully my experience along the way will be of help to ‘my target audience’ – YES…..that’s you my lovelies…..all those dedicated souls who have at once been touched by the big ‘C’, and who continue to search for the answers that will apply to your own personal set of …????…well let’s call them ‘circumstances’.
The last 11 years dealing with breast cancer have taught me that there is no ‘one way’ to healing. In my book AND SO WE HEAL- I tried to document all that was going on with me in a way that would be both helpful and entertaining. Having spent my formative years pursuing a career as an actress I still find myself viewing life as the grand epic of a movie I was destined to star in. I make no excuses anymore for who I am. I am indeed happy and grateful to still be alive.
And so as I continue to heal following the signs along the way I shall attempt to backtrack a little and continue where the book left off. That’s 3 years to catch up with, so a little patience please and watch this space. It’s taken me the best part of the day to get this far and I need to get out and pick some apples. I am sure I will pick up speed and hope to make this a daily practice but no promises yet……
Let me just say that I have just returned to Asturias, my Spanish home away from home…..after spending 2 days in Brighton receiving Vitamin C infusions at the VISION OF HOPE CLINIC, courtesy of NEW APPROACHES TO CANCER, YES TO LIFE and TOGETHER AGAINST CANCER. How grateful I am for the support of these fine charities.


25 Nov

Not quite early morning…..but up and at it all the same.

Since we bought a new feather duvet  recently it becomes harder to surface from the luxury of a warm bed in the approaching winter of Asturias.  I have precisely three weeks before setting off for Brighton again and the VISION OF HOPE clinic where I receive the vitamin C infusions that have become so all important to my new ‘closing the door on cancer’ regime.

I always thought I was getting adequate vitamin C during those early days of my diagnosis back in 2001.  I was doing daily juicing  a la GERSON therapy –,  and supplementing with powdered vitamin C.  Of course I knew of the importance of high dosage and longed to be able to get regular vitamin C infusions, but they were just not available locally, and to travel to the few doctors that were administering them seemed impossible without a car – and once there – who could afford them?  And so I soldiered on doing what I could and trusting that the powdered Vit. C was better than nothing.  As the years have passed I have changed my approach and regime many times really to adapt to wherever I was, and whatever was going on with me…..’Me’ – being the point here as I have always maintained that there is no ‘one way’ to fight cancer!

Being a sagittarius has inevitably found me travelling perhaps more than others and I always found inspiration as I did so.  I should perhaps change tenses here as I still am the traveler…..and still it seems on the so called ‘cancer trail’, which seems to get more and more controversial with each passing day.  Never mind that bonafide websites such as come underfire for providing cutting edge information both on orthodox and alternative cancer treatment: freedom and respect for the choices we make, should be our individual right.  I have met many people who have survived and still continue to survive cancer having used orthodox treatment, just as I have a long list of dear friends who have sadly passed using both orthodox and alternative ways.  The one thing that makes good sense to me is to use the healthiest method  possible and to me that entails detoxing of both body and mind – and that takes discipline ….

My aim here is to report on my particular journey, and to invite dialogue on both sides of the fence….. Orthodox and Alternative with the hope that we can find some middle ground.

Back to vitamin C and the present then : At the Vision of Hope clinic ( I receive monthly infusions courtesy of two charities –New Approaches to Cancer, Against Cancer,   And with the help of Yes to life,  I can supplement daily with a course of LYPOSPHERIC VITAMIN C, which is the most exciting news yet –…/lypo-sphericvitaminc./

Having said that I am off to get one of my 5 daily doses…..

And yet more excerpts from the AND SO WE HEAL book :

As the wind blows

24 Nov

As the wind blows.